Wednesday, 17 January 2018

13 Reasons Why

Today I am wearing lacy black underwear
For the sole purpose of knowing I am wearing them
And underneath that?
I am absolutely naked.
And I’ve got skin. Miles and miles of skin;
I’ve got skin to cover all my thoughts
like saran wrap that you can see through
to what leftovers are inside from the night before.
And despite what you might think, my skin is not rough; nor is it bullet proof.
My skin is soft, and smooth, and easily scarred.
But that doesn’t matter, right?
You don’t care about how soft my skin is.
You just want to hear about what my fingers do in the dark.
But what if all they do is crack open windows?
So I can see lightening through the clouds.
What if all they crave is a jungle gym to climb for a taste of fresher air?
What if all they reach for is a notebook or a hand to hold?
But that’s not the story you want.
You are licking your lips and baring your teeth.
Just once I would like to be the direction someone else is going.
I don’t need to be the water in the well.
I don’t need to be the well.
But I’d like to not be the ground anymore.
I’d like to not be the thing people dig their hands in anymore.
Some girls know all the lyrics to each other’s songs.
They find harmonies in their laughter.
Their linked elbows echo in tune.
What if I can’t hum on key?
What if my melodies are the ones nobody hears?
Some people can recognize a tree,
A front yard, and know they’ve made it home.
How many circles can I walk in before I give up looking?
How long before I’m lost for good.
It must be possible to swim in the ocean of the one you love without drowning.
It must be possible to swim without becoming water yourself.
But I keep swallowing what I thought was air.
I keep finding stones tied to my feet.

Thursday, 21 December 2017

Tamatnya Research Project Part 1

Image may contain: 3 people, people smiling, indoor
Progress presentation today runs very smoothly. We're very grateful to have such a supportive supervisor to supervise us. Despite a lot of challenges that we faced, we keep reminding ourselves that everything gonna be okay. Even now, there are a lot of things to be done tapi harapnya semuanya akan okay lah suatu hari nanti. InshaAllah.

"For now until you guys finish your exam, you guys can stop doing your project. You can already stop writing and you can stop collecting data. Focus on your final exam first. I think up to now, everyone had done a very good job" -Dr A

alhamdulillah, dr dah bagi green light :) bolehlah study dengan tenang. Before ending the meeting, dr told her intention to publish our thesis. MashaAllah, tingginya cita-cita Dr. Tak terfikir pun sampai ke situ. I'm only thinking about graduation and requirement. With the problems and challenges that exist, not really sure whether this project can be completed and producing a successful outcome but we'll try our best. Belum ada kekuatan lagi nak ajak dr berswafoto. Tunggulah dah siap hantar thesis nanti, we'll try to get one :)